He's out there.

He's out there.

He's just 6037 miles away.

I miss him so much it hurts.

I've needed him more than ever lately.

and I just cant wait to have him back.

That "One Day".

Oh the roller coaster of emotions.

It's just one of those nights where I really miss him. Ya know, that kind of night where I just wanna get in sweats, watch a movie, and cuddle up next to him? I miss feeling him next to me. I'm lucky to remember how he feels. It's hard to go from being with someone every single day for almost 2 years, to not at all. I'm almost a year in and it's still a struggle. It's really hard to imagine another year without my best friend. So much has been going on the past week that I want to run to him and tell him about. But he's not here. I remember a couple weeks into the wait, I really had a hard time with accepting the fact that he wasn't here. Typing his name into my phone to text him, almost driving to his house to go see him. And now I'm almost a year into the wait, and just the other day I put "shawny" in my phone to call him. What was I thinking? He's not here. And it's really hard to be without my best friend. Something else really clicked to me tonight too: I'm actually in a long distance relationship. I never thought in a million years I would do that, let alone wait for a missionary. It takes a strong girl to go 2 years without someone they love so much and I'd have to say.. I'm kickin' butt at it. Me and Shawn have never been so in love and so strong in our relationship. I couldn't be happier. But yet, i become happier every single day. It's amazing the things that boy does to my heart. One day he'll be home. One day we'll be together again; forever. But that "one day" seems forever away. I miss him so much. I miss having him here. I dont think the people of Chile understand how lucky they are to have him. I miss his laugh. I miss the way he would make me laugh. Thats what I need lately. Especially with everything going on here, I just need him to put me back at ease. Why does 2 years have to be so long?

But on the up side.. I know that I'm about half way. And things between me and him are perfect. People search their whole lives to find a love like ours, and how lucky are we to find it at such a young age. He's the best thing that has ever happened to me and I can't wait for that "one day" to come.

Keep Going.

I love you babe.

xoxo. 

I'm so lucky.

So Shawn never fails to tell me that he loves me every week.

He's amazing. I love hearing his stories about the mission and being a part of the experience with him! But Saturday (since it was his Pday) he emailed me the sweetest email. I dont know what happened this past week to make him love me so much haha but gosh he's so cute. I cried when I read this:

"I read a quote by President
Monson "There is a heavenly influence in all things. When things
happen they are not by accident. When we look back to what seemed to
match in our lives, we realize that maybe after all, nothing was by
accident" I translated it from spanish, so it might be a little better
in his own words than my translation. But, as I know, we didnt just
meet each other by accident. Everything has an influence in our lives. I mean how
weird is it that we grew up in the same town, same schools, and we
didnt meet each other until your junior year and my senior year. Like that doesnt just happen. Our story is so special, and our love is one of a kind. 
and it still continues to grow every day that passes by. And I get reaffirmed of this everyday. I know there are times when satan gets in our heads and gives us doubts or makes us scared of what could happen. But we are strong. We can do this! :)I love you. You are the girl of my
dreams, and no one even comes CLOSE to you. 
I'm proud of you for working so hard in hair school And im sure that you do the best work, and just outshine everyone there. Because you are my girl, and you are the best. Thanks for just being the amazing girl that you are, I know that it isnt easy doing what you are doing. And there is not one girl that can do what you are doing. I know you make lots of sacrifices and maybe sometimes feel
alone. I owe you the world for this, and that is what im going
to give you. You mean the world and more to me. I love your family too so much and can't thank them enough for making me feel a part of the family. Thank you for supporting me in my mission. You give me such a boost and help me be the best missionary. I owe you the world for helping me get out here. I love the mission and I've grown so much. My testimony is so strong and I love touching people's lives. I know that people give "the girlfriend" such a hard time but all you've done for me while I've been out, is help me be the best that I can be. You are an amazing daughter of God. He loves you so much Emily and I'm so blessed to have you in my life. Thank you so much for everything. We can do this! One more year. The mission has helped me so much and I dont have a single doubt that this church is true. I'm grateful to have a girl like you that has such a strong testimony as well. Thank you so much Emmie for everything you do for me and everyone around you. And thank you for being so strong. You've helped me in so many ways. I love you" 

He's amazing. I have the best missionary/ boyfriend in the WORLD. :)

Skype Date.

First off, I just want to say I'm sorry for taking so long to post this blog post!
I know some of you have been wanting to hear all about my wonderful date Sunday and
trust me;
I'm ready to tell you all about it.

Mothers Day;
A great day. Before I continue, just a shout out to the best mom in the world. I love you so much
and thank you for everything you do for me and the family. You really are fantastic.

So the day started off like any other...
who am I kidding, the minute I woke up,
I had butterflies.
Getting ready for church, knowing that in four short ours I was going to talk to the love of my life.
Church went by even slower. All I could think about was "what am I going to say? Is it going to be weird? Will he look, sound, act the same?" I had no idea what to expect.

1:30: Sitting in relief society, watching the hands on the clock slowly moving.
1:35: Are you kidding me?
1:45: Peace out relief society.

I went home to get myself ready before I had to be there.

When I finally got to his house, I waited anxiously at the doorstep. His mom answered the door with a huge hug and a "Hello Sweetheart! Come on in, He's on! We are just on the deck" I handed her, her mothers day present and told her Happy Mothers Day. When we got outside to the deck and I popped myself into the webcam, Shawns face just started glowing. I couldnt believe he was there! I was smiling from ear to ear. And that smile did not leave my face the whole time. After standing for a few minutes, his mom got up and brought me a stool to sit on, put me dead center, and then I turned to her and said "no no its okay, you guys be center" and then she said "No Em, the girlfriend needs to be center. He enjoys looking at you more anyway" and then Shawn interuppted saying "Yeah Emily dont move!" haha and we all laughed.

The best part about it? It wasn't weird AT ALL! Shawn hasn't changed a BIT! Except he is more handsome of course. But he was the still shawn. My Shawn. He told us stories about the mission, told us about his surgery, where he is staying to recover, what he is going to do for his birthday, and so much more. I just kind of sat back and enjoyed listening to his voice. I didnt really know what to say, mostly because I was in shock that my boyfriend was in front of me. TALKING. Shawn then asked me some questions about my life, and I told him all about school and my future trip coming up and about my family. It was so good to hear from him. His laugh is just as cute or even cuter than I remember. His smile was amazing. Just everything about him. I'm one lucky girl.

We got to skype with him for 2 hours. The best 2 hours ever. He's real everyone. I have a real boyfriend. Not just some imaginary friend that is perfect. He's real. and guess what else? He only has a year and 22 days left. :) haha. But who's counting right??

As the skype ended, we all said Goodbye. Everyone kept saying "WE LOVE YOU SHAWN!" But I was too scared to say it. His Grandma then leaned over to me and said "You can tell him you love him sweetie" haha we all laughed and then Shawn said, "EM, I love you!!" and I just smiled. but I knew if I said it back I would start crying. I just hurried and said goodbye.

Goodbyes are so hard. Soooo hard.
But that Skype Date was amazing. Reassured me so much and made me realize how good I DO have it. How amazing our love is and with this love, we can conquer anything!

2 more days.

Sunday can't come soon enough!!

Mothers day :)

Yes what a wonderful day to celebrate mothers everywhere.

I have the best mom in the world. 

But what else am I excited for??

 

I get to see Shawn's handsome face! 

His mom invited me over for SKYPE! 

I can't even believe it. I'm so excited!

It was so nice of her to invite me over! 

Ahhh. I can't wait. 

.... to be continued. :)

11 months.

What a good day.
What a great feeling.

Wasn't it just yesterday that I was at 6 months?

11 months down TODAY!
Cant believe it!!

I'm proud of him! He has been going through a lot but he always comes out on top! Stronger than ever. I'm proud of the hard working missionary that he is and the man that he is becoming. He is touching so many lives down in Chile and I know that they all love him there!

I can't believe in 31 days I can finally say its been a year. What a strange, crazy feelings. But it feels great.

11 months down, 13 more to go :)

I love you babe. 

xoxox. 

There's a reason.

Whether you pushed me or pulled me, fueled me or drained me, helped me or hurt me, loved me or left me.. You were part of my growth so, Thank You.


I truly believe that God puts people in your life for a reason. Whether its to be in your life forever; or to be in your life for a short amount of time. God has a plan for all of us. Lately, I've been selfish. I've had so many amazing people in throughout my life help me, but especially while Shawn's been gone. And I haven't even said Thank You.  I've been through a lot of growing experiences. I am who I am today because of the people I've had in my life. I'm a stronger, better person today than I was yesterday, and I'll be a stronger, better person tomorrow. So if you are reading this, I want you to know that you have in some way, impacted my life for the better. Whether we are close now or not as close as we used to be. YOU were meant to be in my life. YOU blessed my life. and God hand picked YOU out of everyone to be a blessing and a miracle to me. So thank you. So whoever you are, just know that time we've spent together, was not time wasted.

Thank you for:

-Putting up with me.

-Making me laugh when I wanted to cry.

-Never giving up on me.

-Keeping my secrets and letting me trust you.

-Helping me through the hard times.

-Helping me live my life.

-Making me feel special.

-Making me feel loved.

-Being a friend. 

I could never say Thank You enough for everything you've done in my life. but most importantly, just always remember that at that time you were in my life or you still are, God put you there for a reason. He put you there when no one else was meant to be there. 

I truly do love each and every one of you.

xoxo.

This sucks.

I would do absolutely anything for this.

The 10 month mark has been 

the hardest one yet.

The only thing I need right now is a hug.

Not just from anyone,

I need one from you.

To keep me going;

to remind me how you feel;

to remember your touch;

to remember that another year isn't "that long";

to remember that what we have is REAL.

I just want to hug you so much right now. 

I love you babe.
I miss you everyday.

NO WAY.

I've made it.

We've made it.

CALLED IS ALL FILLED UP!!

He has now been gone 330 days. 

I cant believe that it was 330 days ago that I shook his hand

as a missionary of the Lord

and walked away from him

knowing that in 2 years

we would be together again;

Forever.

Its funny to me really.

I always thought I would NEVER be the girl with a missionary.

Too painful, too long, too much.

But look where I am! 

Still waiting :) 

See that cute big gray dot in the middle of the T?

Thats the year mark.

Year mark...

HERE WE COME. 

Only you can.

So to go with my last post,

I heard this song today in the car

and instantly tears came to my eyes.

I never realized how perfect this song is,

but listen to it.

Every word speaks to my heart.

Its exactly how I've been feeling lately.

I love you Shawn :)

He loves me.

Lately I've been asked the question:

"What made you decide to wait"

OR.

"11 months is a long time. What keeps you going?"

I could go on and on about why I love him, why I'm waiting, its so hard, but so worth it, yadda yadda yadda. But lately? the answer is simple.

No one could ever love me as much as Shawn does.

Simple as that.

I've been so blessed lately. At this point in the wait, so many girls forget what is like to have him around and forget his love. Me on the other hand? It only gets stronger as the day goes on. Especially because we have been dealing with a lot together and apart.

but again;

The answer is simple.

No one could ever love me as much as Shawn does. Care about me as much as Shawn does. and do absolutely anything and everything for me.

I wish I could explain the feelings that I'm feeling.
But its as if..
Shawn is still here. Not physically, but in my heart. As cheesy as that may sound, its true. I feel him with me everywhere I go. He loves me so much. I've done so much stuff to him to the point where I feel as if I dont deserve him, but week after week he tells me how perfect I am and how much he loves me. I couldn't have chosen a better man.