Friends.

I really do have the best friends a girl could ask for.
I know that God puts people in my life for a reason, and I've been so blessed with the friends that I have.
I've always been the girl who had a hard time keeping good friends. But man, the friends that I do have are the best. Trust me.

Tonight I realized more than ever, how much my friends mean to me. I've been missing Shawn more than ever lately, but my friends have helped me so much. They also keep my focus and mind clear and it means the world to me.

Shawn and I will owe them our lives one day for how much they've helped.

Seriously, I dont know how I got so lucky.

And even in hard times like these; I know I'm never alone.

Today was also a great day because I went to lunch with Shawns dad and sister :)
It was the FIRST TIME in 16 months, that I've been in Shawny's truck. I sat in the front, and man I forgot how big his truck was. But so many memories flooded my head. I MISS HIM.

Must Watch.

This changed my life.

It'd still be you.

I sit here thinking about what to blog along with this quote.
but the truth is, I can't come up with anything because
this picture above,
said it perfectly.

The miles,
the years,
weeks,
months,
days,
seconds,
whatever it is;
they are just numbers.
and numbers don't hold back true love.


258 days until I'm with you again.

Hold on babe, we can do it.

The one for me.

I've met some pretty great guys over the past wait.

Great guys that will make great husbands.

But the man for me is 6,000 miles away and I will never give him up.
I really am so blessed to have him. A girlfriend and I were talking about how lucky we are to have someone so amazing to miss. (she has a missionary too). She opened my eyes a lot, and yes I miss him like crazy, but people would kill for a man like Shawn. For a love like ours. So why complain that I have 8 months left? Why complain that I had to wait 2 years? At least I have someone that I get to spend forever with.

I'd wait forever for him.

I'm so lucky.

Fairytale love.

There's nothing better than having Shawns mom say,

"Everyone, I want you to meet Emily. This is my future daughter in law. She is waiting for my son Shawn, and they are so committed to each other. They have a fairytale love"

Tonight, I went to support Denise (his mom) at a seminar she leads at. And thats how she introduced me in front of everyone. I could not stop smiling when she said that. I am THE LUCKIEST girl in the world!!

My life is perfect right now :) and its only going to get better.

Finding your happiness.

I have so much gratitude in my heart tonight for the gospel.

I came across a Facebook status tonight

"Harry Potter" is a book. I dont base my life off of it. The Book of Mormon is a book, so I'm curious, why do you base your life off of it?

And there were comments immediately bashing the church.

One person even said

"The difference is that an illiterate man wrote the BOM"

Ouch.

It took everything inside of me not to comment on it.
Even tho I have not read the Book of Mormon cover to cover, I know it to be true. Immediately when I read that status, something warm in my heart told me that this gospel is true. I began to look more into the people writing the comments. I came across the ones that were sticking up for the church, looked happy. They had great lives. and the ones that were writing hurtful things, weren't living life the way the Lord would want them to. Now, I'm not saying that these people are bad people. Not one bit. Some of these people are dear friends of mine. Amazing people! But I guess where I'm going with this, is that the gospel really does bring true happiness. The young man that put this Facebook status used to be a solid member of the church. He was even going to go on a mission until he changed his mind. He's still a great guy. But is HE missing out on so much the Lord can bless him with? Absolutely.

For all those that have fallen:

Heavenly Father loves you. He will NEVER forsake you. Even if you feel like you are in a dark place, the Lord is just waiting for you to come to Him. I see the way you live your life. Complaining that "You wish you could find a good guy, or a good girl" or complaining about how hard life is. When really, its SO easy if you just live the way you are supposed to. Want a great guy? be a great girl. What a great girl? BE A GREAT GUY. Lucky for me, I had to learn that. The hard way. I wanted an amazing guy, and in order to have that, I had to love myself first. Respect myself first. And now look where I'm at. If you feel alone, I promise you're not. I've had those nights. Having a missionary, You feel alone all the time. Even being surrounded by a million people. But the Lord is always there to listen. He is always there to lift burdens and make things easier. Remember: The Lord never gives you a trial you can't handle. He knows you are strong. Prove to him that you are, but don't doubt him. Honestly, I've never been happier. and its because I am living the Gospel every day. I'm not perfect. In fact, I'm FAR from perfect. But because I know the Lord knows I'm NOT perfect, its such a comfort to always forgive myself and start a new day. There are so many things I need to work on. So do not think for one second that I'm writing this to be all high and mighty. I'm NOT. But do you want the answer to happiness? Your Heavenly Father.

I know this gospel to be true. I have had to go thru my own testimony builders to find this out. I have seen those who have fallen away vs those who hold strong and the difference their lives are. I have so much to work on in this gospel. Do I say my daily prayers? No. Sometimes I forget. Do I read the BOM daily? No I forget all the time. Do I get so caught up in the world that I forget what really matters? OF COURSE! I'm human. But do I strive to do better? All the time. And you can too.

Now about missionary work:
I know I blog a lot about how "awful" waiting for a missionary is. But really, it is such a blessing. Shawn has grown so much. I could not be more proud of him. Its amazing to see him change from boy to man. He has strengthened my testimony because there have been times, He had to pick me up off my feet when things got hard. When happiness was hard to find. HE had to be my angel, my miracle. and it was because of these very things that he had to talk to me about that changed my whole perspective on life. I am so proud of Shawn. Every day he is performing miracles and saving lives. He's a hero. To many. All because he is preaching the gospel and bringing those to true happiness. Is waiting for a missionary hard? Every day. Do I want him to come home? Every single day. but would I give up this experience for the world? Never. This is OUR two years. He has grown, and I have grown. Really, I am so happy for him. I know that this mission is so important and I really love him so much for leaving me. Weird to say right? I'm glad he left me for 2 years to do this for our Savior. and I know I'll continue to complain about him being gone, because there are some days I miss him so much. But I want all of you to know, that I love missionary work. and I am so so so proud of him.

I'm pregnant.

I laughed to myself when I made the title to this new post. 

I'm not really pregnant. 

But I am announcing that today marks, 9 months left til my boy gets home.

9 months is a pregnancy right? :)

So here we go, Here goes our last mission baby! 

Its crazy to think that time is only going to speed up. 9 months ago, Shawn was home getting surgery. 9 months from now, Shawn will be home again! But for good this time. 

I'm so proud of my babe. He's working so hard out there and he's being such a great missionary. I love when investigators or members from his mission add me on facebook and in their broken english, try to talk to me about Shawn and how he touches their loves. My boy's got 9 months left and I know that these are going to be the best 9 months. 

9 fast sundays til he's home.

273 days.

I never thought I'd get to this point. I mean, I remember when I hit 9 months and I was so excited saying, "AH our first mission baby!" hahaha and now we are on our last :) 

and I mean, if it goes as fast as the last 9 months, then he'll be here in no time.

I love you babe! :) 

I hope you know.

I hope you also know

That you are my bestfriend.

That you are worth every lonely night and tear.

You are the reason I smile.

I hope you know that you changed my life 

forever.

You are an amazing example to me

and to everyone around you.

I hope you know that no matter what,

I'll be here.

I'm never giving up.

Even if the world gives me a hundred reasons to let go,

I'm always yours.

Why give up now?

Why give up everything we have

and everything we have worked for.

I hope you know that 9 months really is just around the corner

and soon,

we will be together again.

I hope you know that you have my heart

and that I love you.

Forever.

I hope you know that

forever is a long time.

and forever is what I want to spend with you. 

Painful

The pain I feel tonight, you know.. the pain of missing someone.. is just a reminder of how real our love is.
Tonight is a hard night and I miss him so much. Saturdays are one of my favorite days of the week. I get letters every Saturday from my babe. I got one today and it touched my heart so much. I really am so lucky. I wish more than anything he could be with me tonight. and every night after that.

I feel alone. The one person I need is gone. and he's gone for another 9 months.

"I could be surrounded by a million people, and yet still feel so alone".

That quote has never felt so real.