Christmas

Christmas 2011

What a day.

Waking up at 5:20

because the little brothers were so excited;

getting everything I wanted;

A laptop, cute jewlery, clothes, stuff about my mishh;

and of course

Shawny's Package.

That was so fun to open!

He spoiled me!

Chile bag, B.O.M. in spanish, Chilean money, pass along cards in

spanish, a change carrier, and those two name tags!

Both of these were hand made.

Spiderman hat, and freakin sick jacket.

He knows me so well!!!

But of course..

this is what means the most to me.

He wore this.

I love thinking that.

He walks around everyday with the Lords name on his badge.

I am so proud of my boyy.

He is amazing.

Thanks you so much babe for that amazing

Christmas Package.

The rest of the day went something like this.

Falling asleep in church;

eating lots of food;

party at the Lambs house;

got my favorite lotion;

Went home and enjoyed another family party

with my dads side;

and while all this was going on..

i was waiting for one text.

one text that would either make me very happy

or crush my world.

Lets see if you can guess what it was..

Shawn's mom told me to drop off the presents on the porch.

It hurt.

All I wanted was my Christmas Wish.

All I wanted was to see him on Christmas.

Everyone else got to either talk or skype with

their missionaries on Christmas

and mine just so happens to be down the street

and I couldn't even watch him open his presents.

I couldn't help but start to cry.

I then went to drop off the presents at their house.

I got Shawn 2 really nice shirts for Pday

and I made him a necklace with E<3 on it.

its manly, dont worry.

and I made his parents a sign that said

"Mis-sion-ary: Someone who leaves their family

for a short time, so others will be with their families for

eternity"

I then got a very sweet text from her

telling me how much she loved the present

and how much Shawn loved his!

But I'm still very sad over the fact that

its Christmas..

and I couldn't see him.

It was a very good day, and I have a lot to be grateful for

but this would of only made it the best christmas ever.

I miss him so much.

I was looking thru old photos

and these were the pictures taken last year at this time.

I love you babe.

Then for the rest of the night

I just enjoyed being with my whole fam

watching Christmas Vacation.

Time to hit the sack.

Merry Christmas Everyone.

Merry Christmas Shawn.

I love you.



Christmas when you were mine.

This sums up how I'm feeling right now.

I love you Shawny. More than you will ever know.

We can do this;

We have to.

We'll be together soon

and we will never be apart on Christmas again.

<3

but for me its just a lonely time

cuz there were Christmases when you were mine.



Not easy.

His surgery went very well.

But it was more intense than planned.

I guess he has had a hernia his whole life

and never knew about it.

So there was more digging, more stitching;

and he is in so much pain.

It took him two weeks to finally feel comfortable.

He was supposed to go back

December 16.

But there was just no way.

Poor guy can't even move,

you think he'd be okay to go out and serve his mission again?

I dont think so.

So looks like he'll be home for Christmas

and New Years.

Yay me.

Sarcasm?

Yes!

Because this is the time of year that we love

and spend every minute together

and we can't.

BUT

part of me really is happy he is home.

1. I'd rather have him recover here than Chile

2. I have to only do one Christmas without him

not two;

even though we aren't "really" together,

its nice to know he is so close :)

And lets just hope I get a miracle this Christmas to see him.

Other than that,

you guessed it;

I haven't seen him yet.

Its the hardest thing I have ever done.

I'm just waiting for the day that I run into him somewhere.

In fact, I did pass him last week while driving.

He was in his Grandma's car.

For a second, I couldn't believe that was him.

I thought I was seeing things;

til my sister reassured me that it was Shawn.

Then I had a mini heart attack as he smiled at me when I drove by.

I love him.

We email Mondays

and he just sent me some pictures from his mission.

^Men Working

I love him.

He is SUCH a stud!

My heart melts everytime I see a picture of him!

534 Days babe.



Battle we're fighting.

"I might not get to see you as often as I'd like, I may not get to hold you in my arms at night, but deep in my heart I know that it's true. No matter what happens... I will always love you"

You think being 6000 miles

away from someone is hard?

Try being less than 5 minutes away

and not being together.

I am now facing the hardest obstacle in my life.

But because of this trial,

I somehow feel closer to Shawn than I have ever felt.

Even though this straight up sucks

and this wasn't part of the plan

I am a firm believer that

everything happens for a reason.

And maybe there is a big reason this all happened

and we wont know about it til' later;

maybe he needed to touch someone's life here;

maybe he needed to get away from Chile

because something was going to happen;

and of course doctors are better here,

but if anything,

this trial has brought us closer together

and I love him more than I did yesterday.

and I will love him more tomorrow than I did today.

And during the last couple of days

I have learned something.

Nothing will take me away from Shawn.

I have felt his love more the last couple days

than I have ever felt.

He's worth the wait everyone.

and even though we are going through

something that is miserable;

'our love can conquer anything.' - Shawn.

What I have with him is worth it.

It is worth every lonely night, every tear I cry from missing him,

and the pain I feel from not having him close.

It is worth it because he is my one and only.

When I picture myself years from now, I see only him.

No matter how painful distance can be,

not having him in my life would be worse.

"Not being able to hold you has got to be the hardest thing I've ever had to do. But I get to look forward to the next time you are in my arms; your smile only inches away from mine getting closer and closer until at last... our smiles meet. Something that beautiful... that's what keeps me going"