He's Home!

I've never been so happy in my entire life.

Sorry this is way long haha but SO worth reading.

Let me back track just a little bit :)

As most of you know, Shawn's actual release date was supposed to be May 21, 2013.

Christmas Day, we skyped him and he told us that he has been in so much pain. He came home December of 2011 for a hernia surgery and then went back out, and I guess his hernia came back. My first reaction: Holy Cow.

He then told us that they need to figure out what's going on and whats going to happen. When we got done skyping, his moms first words were, "Looks like we have a missionary coming home early". My stomach was in knots. Is this seriously happening?? I kept asking myself. So for the next couple days, it was back and forth communication between his mom and the mission president figuring out what was going to happen.

Monday Dec, 31: He tells me in an email that the mission president wants him to stay til February 28, (2 more transfers) but he was in SO much pain and was trying to get home earlier. but he was also very sad and didn't want to leave but felt like he had no choice.

Wednesday, January 2: His mom texts me "Shawn will be most likely coming home Friday. Dont' tell anyone until we get his itinerary" My world just flipped upside down.

Thursday Jan, 3: The day we were supposed to hear the news. I waited all day to eventually find out that he was going to arrive tomorrow at 10:30 am. Most of you girls get months to prepare, I had 24 hours. Banner, posters, outfit, presents, so much to do and so little time. But I wasn't complaining :)

Shawny got an honorable release and returned home 4 1/2 months early.

Sooooo now to the exciting part :)

The Airport:

I woke up at 7am and had to be at his house at 8:30 to decorate. Still didn't even pick out my outfit but luckily i had my best friend there to help me out. We got to his house at 8:30 and my best friend kept saying "Has it hit you yet" And no it didnt at all! It was all a dream. Decorating his house, seeing the Welcome Home Elder Larkin sign, it was all surreal. Driving to the airport my stomach started getting in knots but I still didn't feel like I was seeing my boyfriend. Everyone talks about this "nervous feeling" I NEVER FELT IT. Pure excitement. I wasn't nervous at all. It just didn't feel like it was happening. Maybe because I had 24 hours to get ready, I'm sure that's it. Anyway, we got there at 9:30 and his mom called me saying "Shawn's flight is arriving at 9:56." A HALF HOUR EARLY. So we got into the airport, and I was there with my best friend, his family, and my family. Also the awesome photographer and person filming it. I then walked over to the arrival board and just sat there and watched his flight number. It then said landed. Finally it hit, and I was already bawling like a baby. GREAT. hahaha.

We all then stood together getting ready for this handsome boy to land. It took FOREVER for him to get down, but then.. it happened. I saw him. And every heartache, every lonely night, every awful date, every hard night went away. In that moment, it was like nothing mattered and it was only me and him in this world. I literally fell to the floor crying (as you could see in my pictures). I watched him hug his family and hold his mom for a long time and I said to my best friend, "I will marry him". He walked over to me and grabbed me. he pulled me in SO TIGHT and whispered "I love you so much Em". He wouldn't let me go. we just held each other and I pulled back a little to look at him and said 'YOURE REAL!!!" and he pulled me back in to hug me. I can't even explain the hug in the right words because incredible is an understatement.

He then went to hug my family and he couldn't take his eyes off me. and he mouthed the words "I love you". and while we were walking he put his arms around me and pulled me in for another hug. It was perfect. Then we got his bags and he said "You're coming with me in the car right?" And I said "No I have to take my friends home but then i'll be right over!" and he said "K you better Emmie". haha.

Awful 7 hours:

Shawny couldn't get released until 5pm!! So we just talked and he told us stories and gave us presents. and then we walked up to his office for him to show us pictures and videos on the computer and it was just me and him in the room for a second before his mom got in there and he said "holy crap is it 5 yet?" haha we both just laughed.

Finally released:

At 5pm I went home so he could go to the stake presidents to get released and they told me to be back at 6 to go to dinner. So I went home and to pass the time I got on facebook and just sat there waiting. When I got back to his house it was a complete different feeling and the minute our eyes met i could feel how much he loved me. We then got in his car and it was his mom and dad in the front, and then shawn, me in the middle, and his sister on my right side. Right when we got in the car, shawn grabbed my hand and held my hand. Amazing. Then he would play with my hands and rub them. and I'm not exaggerating when I say this every 2 minutes he'd say either "I love you" or "You're amazing" or "Thanks for waiting babe" or "You're so pretty". At dinner he kept touching my leg and holding my hand under the table. and on the way home he held my hand the whole time and kept saying those same things.

When we got back to his house he wanted to watch Avengers. hahaha so we cuddled and watched the movie. and he kept pulling me in closer and closer.

Then his dad went to bed and I was getting ready to leave, but before he left we had a little heart to heart talk. He said "Em, I want to thank you for wating for me. It was so hard, but you are the most amazing girl in the world and there's no one else i'd rather be with. I'm so in love with you and want to be with you forever. You are beautiful and I'm so lucky."

He kissed me before I left and it was amazing. We both teared up. Ok he teared up, I cried like a baby.

Today:

Waking up this morning and knowing Shawn was home was one of the best feelings in the world. He came over to my house before my brothers baptism and right when I heard his truck pull up and ring the door bell I RANNNNN to the door and jumped on him. We then went to the baptism and he just kept hugging all my extended family and telling everyone how much he loves them. While we were sitting there he had his arm around me, or holding my hand, but again every 5 minutes he'd whisper "I love you so much". Ahhhh. He's perfect. And then I watched him be in the circle giving my brother the holy ghost and I cired. i'm a baby i know. haha and we are seriously glued to each other. He will not let me go!

We went back to my house to have a family party and each lunch and I was like "Babe do you want me to throw away your plate?" and he was like "NO! stay and cuddle me." and i said "babe i'll be fast!!" and he said "K hurry fast. i miss you already" hahahaha. we're ridiculous. but he's perfect.

And then we were sitting there and he was holding me and playing with my hair, and then he said "Babe, lets go look at wedding rings soon k?" :) :) :) eeeeek.

I can't even tell you how much I love him. I've read all these stories, and they alll say keep waiting its worth it. but it never like stuck with me. I'M EATING MY WORDS RIGHT NOW. THE WAIT IS WORTH IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WOULD DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN. The LOVE you share is amazing..I did one of the hardest things and he will forever appreciate it. I never imagined love to be this strong and I tear up just thinking about how special it is. I am so madly in love with this boy. I've been stomped on, I've been hurt while waiting, boys are jerks, i've dated horrible guys, and i've had miserable days, but I would do it all over again because guess what?! NONE OF IT MATTERS. it's like it never happened.

and it was all sooo worth it.

Everything is perfect. He isn't weird at all. It's like he never left. He's the same but better. Such a gentleman and loves this gospel. The spirit is so strong around him and I can't wait to marry him some day.

So this is my story. Its been 2 days and they are the best 2 days of my life. and its only going to get better!!!!!

My last night waiting-

Is this really happening?- I find myself asking that question a lot lately. Can you blame me? I didn't think he was coming home til May. I mentally got ready for May and now it just came out of no where. I don't think it's even hit me QUITE yet. Randomly throughout the day, it would kind of hit me, but it hasn't sunk in. Like when I was making his poster, I took a minute and I was like "Whoa". Or when I was at the mall and someone asked "who are you shopping for?" and I said "oh my boyfriend". Double whoa.

So just stuff like that would happen and it would kind of hit. I think it'll finally sink in when I'm sitting in the airport (whoa major butterflies just came). Maybe it's starting to sink in now and I'm just too tired to realize it. Who knows. But all I know is that my boy will be home in less than 12 hours.

12 freakin' hours. 

Poster- Check.
Banner- Check.
Balloons- Check.
Yellow Ribbon- Check.
Presents for him- Check.
Five outfits laid out on my floor- Check.
New make up- Check.
Nails painted- Check.
Hot Bath- Check.
Clean car- Not Check. Screw it the car was was closed hahaha.
Best friend?- She'll be here in a minute.
Someone to film- Check.
Photographer- Check.
Boyfriend- ALMOST CHECK.

I honestly don't remember the last time I was THIS happy! And the best part? I will only be HAPPIER tomorrow! Gosh, I wish everyone in the world could just experience this excitement.

See you tomorrow babe :) I LOVE YOU.

Someone pinch me.

Am I dreaming? Is Shawn really coming home in 2 days?!

Forget all the plans I made before he got home, finishing school, losing 15 pounds, going on girls trips. Forget all the countdowns I have in my room and on this blog, my boyfriend is coming home in 2 days! On Christmas, Shawn let me and his family know that he has been in a lot of pain lately and his hernia has returned. So after a lot of prayer and talking to doctors, they decided to give him an honorable release from his mission and send him home.

HOME.

My boyfriend is coming HOME.

I can't even wrap my head around it quite yet! I have been super giddy all day. I can't even think straight to write this post!

I get my boyfriend back. No more lonely nights, no more dateless weekends, no more counting down, no more waiting.

I'm done waiting.

Someone pinch me. 

Perfect Christmas

It's almost the new year and I'm just writing this post, I'm the worst blogger ever!

But I just had to tell all of you about the best Christmas ever! It all started with Christmas Eve. To me, Christmas Eve is a lot better than Christmas Day when it comes to traditions. I don't know why I like it so much. I just love getting with both sides of the family and feeling the joy of Christmas. As a kid, I remember driving home after being at my Grandpa and Grandmas and looking up in the sky and looking for Santa's sleigh. And I love that there is still a child in the house that believes in Santa. Christmas just wouldn't be the same without a Santa Claus. Christmas Eve was fun, we went to my Grandma's house and spent some time with her and then went to my Uncle Todd's house and just enjoyed time with the family. 

Then we went home and opened our Christmas Pajamas :) I love this tradition.

I still feel like I'm 8 years old, and can't sleep on Christmas Eve. I was up til 3:30am talking to friends. I guess we all just couldn't sleep! We were all so excited. and then 5:30am hits, and we are all awake and ready to open presents. 

I hate when we are done opening presents because it feels like Christmas is over.

But the best part of Christmas? I got to skype my boyfriend. I am so grateful for his amazing family that invited me over! They are so sweet and welcoming and treat me as if I'm their own. I'm so lucky to have them! Skyping Shawn was the best Christmas present ever. The minute I saw him, tears flooded my eyes. I was so happy to see him and hear his voice. He is so happy and was so cute. And when I heard him say, "I love you Em". EVERYTHING was perfect and my whole world was back to normal. I can't wait to have that boy home. We got to skype Shawn for an hour and a half and it was pure bliss. We laughed the whole time and it was the happiest I've been in almost 2 years. But when he started saying his goodbyes, I couldn't talk. because if I talked, I would of cried, and right when he got off, me and his mom lost it. Tears were streaming! haha and then we just laughed because we are so pathetic ;) I love his mom.

His cute mom in the blue, and grandma in the red. me in the middle SO happy 

and Shawns poor dad stuck in the back ;) hahaha

Here are some other pictures from this Christmas time :)

Our Christmas Dresses

Me and Ivan at school :)

Our Christmas sweater party at school :)

Love these girls so much!

(Jess & Chrissy)

Want vs. Have

"Sometimes you need to stop focusing on the things you want and just focus on the things you have".

I stumbled upon that quote the other day on Pinterest and it's really stuck with me. This holiday season, it's easy to want things. I want to be done with school, I want to have more friends to do stuff with every night, I want to get paid more, I want new clothes, I want I want I want. But the worldly things haven't been a big issue thus far. What I want is a boyfriend. How stupid does that sound right? A boyfriend. Here. I want that boyfriend in Chile here.

Everyone always told me that Christmas time was the worst time of the whole waiting process. Last Christmas I was lucky enough to not go through that darker time. Shawn was home for surgery and although we didn't get to see each other, knowing that he was home was enough to feel okay. I could feel how close he was and so Christmas time wasn't so hard. And now I'm creeping up on Christmas time and it's honestly terrible. I never imagined it'd be this hard. Being alone is one of the worst feelings. Especially because everyone around me is getting engaged, going to Temple Square lights with a boyfriend, going ice skating, making gingerbread houses, cuddling on the couch watching Elf. Those silly things are everything to me! And I'll be doing them alone this year.

It's also hard going through all these things after a "break up". I was recently just dating this guy, nothing too serious but we were dating and even though I was blinded by him and not focused so much on Shawn, I was excited to share those fun Christmas things with a boy! and now that, that was taken away from me, I feel even more alone going through the process of getting over him and wishing Shawn were here. What a draining thing am I right?

So back to that quote I posted earlier. I need to stop focusing on what I want. I don't want to have a replacement boyfriend. Because what I do have is far better than I'd ever get right now. I have an amazing man serving the Lord, who loves me more than words can describe. That is so forgiving and so thoughtful. That fights for me every day and loves me even though he is 6000 miles away and hasn't seen me in 19 months. I have everything and more that my friends have right now, I just have to be patient enough to wait for it. So, I need to stop focusing on what I want. the boyfriend; the cuddler; the iceskater; the temple date; all those things. and really focus and be grateful for the things I do have!

Because while I'm here complaining, someone out there is just praying to have what I have.

I'm so lucky to have Shawn and his love. Even though times get hard, and this is going to be hard without him, I know that we can do this and that I'll be okay. i just gotta push through Christmas. I'm so lucky to have amazing friends and family. I'm so lucky to have a job and school to keep me busy and sane.

Waiting for a missionary is tough stuff and people do not give us ladies enough credit for what we do. These lonely nights are miserable and I'm sure they are just going to get harder as time goes on until he gets home, but I gotta keep fighting. Remember what I have and how lucky I am to have it back in 5 months and 4 days :)

FLASH MOB

Here is the flash mob that I was in!

This was so much fun and I'm so happy for Johnny and Tessa :)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1NtGTLcG22I&feature=youtube_gdata_player

copy and paste that link above to youtube!

New friends, lots of laughs, and a great time.

Today was such a fun day! I have honestly been looking forward to this day for so long. For the past couple weeks, a bunch of people have been getting together to do a Flash mob. Its actually a crazy story. So, my three friends; Nick, Johnny, and Tyler, they make these hilarious videos on YouTube. They're quite popular actually. Million's of views. They've pranked Venice Beach, Vegas, and so much more. So their next great idea was a Flash Mob at City Creek in Salt Lake City. After a couple rehearsals, the boys had the idea to go ask permission at City Creek. That caused them to get banned from City Creek for 90 days, get their pictures taken by the police, and sign paper work. Oops.

So they decided to check out The Gateway. Which turned out to be a blessing in disguise because when they got there, they found out that every hour, on the hour, they play All I Want for Christmas is You as part of their light/fountain show. PERFECT RIGHT? Right.

So the Flash Mob was today. Video still to come, but it was such a blast. I made so many new friends and I have loved seeing them all the time. We spent a lot of time laughing and thats what I needed right now. I love my new friends.

I'm also so happy for Johnny and Tessa! At the end of the Flash mob, Johnny proposed to Tessa and it was so perfect. They are so in love and I can't wait for my turn.

Today was also so fun with Kelsey Blackham. We went to the rehearsal together, then went to Keva and Great Harvest Bread, and then drove out to Salt Lake together and just laughed the whole way there. We're ridiculous actually. We were making the funniest noises and talking like complete idiots hahaha. I just laugh thinking about it and if anyone was there we'd have no friends. hahaha!

Kels is honestly the best friend any girl could ever ask for. She has been there for me through some pretty hard times and its amazing that God put her in my life at the perfect timing. We were friends in highschool but not close and now every time we're together we always wonder why we weren't best friends. She's such an amazing, strong girl and i'm so lucky to have her as my best friend.

Oh yeah, and did I mention I put highlights in my hair? Change is fun. and I'm lovin' it!

I'm so lucky to have the friends that I have. And seriously so grateful for the new friends that I made. We made some amazing memories that I'll cherish forever and ever.

Sometimes things don't happen for a reason.

I've always been one to say that ''Everything happens for a reason''. 
But not today. I will not be saying that today. My heart and prayers go out to the poor families who have lost their loved ones today. I am not a mother, but I've always had the heart of a mother. As being the oldest, I've always been a second mom. And I can't even imagine sending my child off to school and having them not come home so I could hug and kiss them. My blood is boiling and my heart is aching when I think about what happened today. I think about my little brother being in second grade, and the kids that lost their lives today in the shooting were younger than him! Kindergarteners. Are you kidding me? It's times like this where I'm grateful for a place called hell that this man can suffer in because what he did was absolutely terrible. There are no words to describe the feelings I have. My neighbors niece was one of the children that died, and it's absolutely heartbreaking. How could a man be so cold? What causes someone to break and snap like this? How could he kill his mom, and a bunch of 5 year olds. They deserved to live. Not him. They deserved to feel safe going to school and having fun and learning. The parents send their 5 years olds off to school every day trusting that they are going to be okay. They had such a great life ahead of them, and this man, this cold hearted rotten man took that away from them and their families.

Some things happen for a reason;

but not everything.

The savior loves these children so very much. I know that he welcomed them with open arms. I am grateful that these children are there with the Savior, but they should be here. and I just pray for the families to be okay and know that their children are happy with their Savior. I am so grateful that families can be together forever and I hope that those families have the same knowledge that I do, and if they don't, I pray that the missionaries, or others, will reach out to them and teach them that they will one day get to be with their children again. 

Chocolates

I love this family tradition that we have. Every year on my mom's side, we get together at my house and dip chocolates! We dip cashews, almonds, marshmellows, and make peanut butter cups. It's so much fun to do this as a family and get together and laugh. We make hilarious jokes and messes. It's great. I can't wait for next year already, and I'll even have a special someone there with me :)

Working hard, or hardly working boys?

Girls making peanut butter cups :)

My uncle and my dad heating up the chocolate! 

I love being on baby duty :) 

This is my cousin Abbie's adorable little boy Crew!

Couldn't be happier.

Missionary Monday! :)

But this missionary Monday was a lot better than others.
Let me just start from the beginning.

Sunday night, I cannot sleep. I think it's worse than Christmas Eve waiting for that email.
I stay up all night so excited to hear from Shawn. He still gives me butterflies. Finally it's 6:30am and I can roll out of bed and go to work. It's good to go to work to keep my busy instead of waiting around all day. It's Noon and I finally get an email from him! He's telling me about his week, telling me that he loves me, all that cute stuff, and then says, by the way, I'll be in the SLC airport on May 21.

Wait. What?

That's right folks, my wonderful boyfriend gets home 3 weeks earlier!! :) Notice how my countdown changed a whole lot?? I get my boyfriend back in MAY! I am freaking out with excitement! I am so happy that I'll have him back for his Birthday on May 24, and he'll be able to go to my brothers graduation, and start summer with me. We'll have a lot to do that summer because wedding bells should be going off.

I really am so excited. but I'm also so nervous! I feel like I have so much to do and I'm not nearly prepared enough. 3 weeks is a huge jump! I got to get this bod into shape, I got to get close to graduating school, I need to read the Book of Mormon cover to cover. I got a lot to do! But a lot to keep me busy :)

He'll be back into my arms in no time.

51/2 more months babe.
We can do this :)