The one for me.

I've met some pretty great guys over the past wait.

Great guys that will make great husbands.

But the man for me is 6,000 miles away and I will never give him up.
I really am so blessed to have him. A girlfriend and I were talking about how lucky we are to have someone so amazing to miss. (she has a missionary too). She opened my eyes a lot, and yes I miss him like crazy, but people would kill for a man like Shawn. For a love like ours. So why complain that I have 8 months left? Why complain that I had to wait 2 years? At least I have someone that I get to spend forever with.

I'd wait forever for him.

I'm so lucky.

Fairytale love.

There's nothing better than having Shawns mom say,

"Everyone, I want you to meet Emily. This is my future daughter in law. She is waiting for my son Shawn, and they are so committed to each other. They have a fairytale love"

Tonight, I went to support Denise (his mom) at a seminar she leads at. And thats how she introduced me in front of everyone. I could not stop smiling when she said that. I am THE LUCKIEST girl in the world!!

My life is perfect right now :) and its only going to get better.

Finding your happiness.

I have so much gratitude in my heart tonight for the gospel.

I came across a Facebook status tonight

"Harry Potter" is a book. I dont base my life off of it. The Book of Mormon is a book, so I'm curious, why do you base your life off of it?

And there were comments immediately bashing the church.

One person even said

"The difference is that an illiterate man wrote the BOM"

Ouch.

It took everything inside of me not to comment on it.
Even tho I have not read the Book of Mormon cover to cover, I know it to be true. Immediately when I read that status, something warm in my heart told me that this gospel is true. I began to look more into the people writing the comments. I came across the ones that were sticking up for the church, looked happy. They had great lives. and the ones that were writing hurtful things, weren't living life the way the Lord would want them to. Now, I'm not saying that these people are bad people. Not one bit. Some of these people are dear friends of mine. Amazing people! But I guess where I'm going with this, is that the gospel really does bring true happiness. The young man that put this Facebook status used to be a solid member of the church. He was even going to go on a mission until he changed his mind. He's still a great guy. But is HE missing out on so much the Lord can bless him with? Absolutely.

For all those that have fallen:

Heavenly Father loves you. He will NEVER forsake you. Even if you feel like you are in a dark place, the Lord is just waiting for you to come to Him. I see the way you live your life. Complaining that "You wish you could find a good guy, or a good girl" or complaining about how hard life is. When really, its SO easy if you just live the way you are supposed to. Want a great guy? be a great girl. What a great girl? BE A GREAT GUY. Lucky for me, I had to learn that. The hard way. I wanted an amazing guy, and in order to have that, I had to love myself first. Respect myself first. And now look where I'm at. If you feel alone, I promise you're not. I've had those nights. Having a missionary, You feel alone all the time. Even being surrounded by a million people. But the Lord is always there to listen. He is always there to lift burdens and make things easier. Remember: The Lord never gives you a trial you can't handle. He knows you are strong. Prove to him that you are, but don't doubt him. Honestly, I've never been happier. and its because I am living the Gospel every day. I'm not perfect. In fact, I'm FAR from perfect. But because I know the Lord knows I'm NOT perfect, its such a comfort to always forgive myself and start a new day. There are so many things I need to work on. So do not think for one second that I'm writing this to be all high and mighty. I'm NOT. But do you want the answer to happiness? Your Heavenly Father.

I know this gospel to be true. I have had to go thru my own testimony builders to find this out. I have seen those who have fallen away vs those who hold strong and the difference their lives are. I have so much to work on in this gospel. Do I say my daily prayers? No. Sometimes I forget. Do I read the BOM daily? No I forget all the time. Do I get so caught up in the world that I forget what really matters? OF COURSE! I'm human. But do I strive to do better? All the time. And you can too.

Now about missionary work:
I know I blog a lot about how "awful" waiting for a missionary is. But really, it is such a blessing. Shawn has grown so much. I could not be more proud of him. Its amazing to see him change from boy to man. He has strengthened my testimony because there have been times, He had to pick me up off my feet when things got hard. When happiness was hard to find. HE had to be my angel, my miracle. and it was because of these very things that he had to talk to me about that changed my whole perspective on life. I am so proud of Shawn. Every day he is performing miracles and saving lives. He's a hero. To many. All because he is preaching the gospel and bringing those to true happiness. Is waiting for a missionary hard? Every day. Do I want him to come home? Every single day. but would I give up this experience for the world? Never. This is OUR two years. He has grown, and I have grown. Really, I am so happy for him. I know that this mission is so important and I really love him so much for leaving me. Weird to say right? I'm glad he left me for 2 years to do this for our Savior. and I know I'll continue to complain about him being gone, because there are some days I miss him so much. But I want all of you to know, that I love missionary work. and I am so so so proud of him.

I'm pregnant.

I laughed to myself when I made the title to this new post. 

I'm not really pregnant. 

But I am announcing that today marks, 9 months left til my boy gets home.

9 months is a pregnancy right? :)

So here we go, Here goes our last mission baby! 

Its crazy to think that time is only going to speed up. 9 months ago, Shawn was home getting surgery. 9 months from now, Shawn will be home again! But for good this time. 

I'm so proud of my babe. He's working so hard out there and he's being such a great missionary. I love when investigators or members from his mission add me on facebook and in their broken english, try to talk to me about Shawn and how he touches their loves. My boy's got 9 months left and I know that these are going to be the best 9 months. 

9 fast sundays til he's home.

273 days.

I never thought I'd get to this point. I mean, I remember when I hit 9 months and I was so excited saying, "AH our first mission baby!" hahaha and now we are on our last :) 

and I mean, if it goes as fast as the last 9 months, then he'll be here in no time.

I love you babe! :) 

I hope you know.

I hope you also know

That you are my bestfriend.

That you are worth every lonely night and tear.

You are the reason I smile.

I hope you know that you changed my life 

forever.

You are an amazing example to me

and to everyone around you.

I hope you know that no matter what,

I'll be here.

I'm never giving up.

Even if the world gives me a hundred reasons to let go,

I'm always yours.

Why give up now?

Why give up everything we have

and everything we have worked for.

I hope you know that 9 months really is just around the corner

and soon,

we will be together again.

I hope you know that you have my heart

and that I love you.

Forever.

I hope you know that

forever is a long time.

and forever is what I want to spend with you. 

Painful

The pain I feel tonight, you know.. the pain of missing someone.. is just a reminder of how real our love is.
Tonight is a hard night and I miss him so much. Saturdays are one of my favorite days of the week. I get letters every Saturday from my babe. I got one today and it touched my heart so much. I really am so lucky. I wish more than anything he could be with me tonight. and every night after that.

I feel alone. The one person I need is gone. and he's gone for another 9 months.

"I could be surrounded by a million people, and yet still feel so alone".

That quote has never felt so real.

290

I remember getting this countdown and thinking "I can't wait to fill up Called" and then "Oh once I start Serve, that will be an amazing feeling"

And here I am. Starting Serve. Is this real life? I can almost taste the homecoming. 9 1/2 months will be here in no time. I just got to keep telling myself that!

Shawn is doing an amazing job in Chile. He loves his companion. In fact, its been his favorite companion so far. Sadly, transfers were yesterday and he now has a new companion so I hope he is a fun dude. He has been successful with baptisms but  now he is just working on getting members to church. That seems to be a huge problem down there. but i know that he will continue to work hard and make everyone and the Lord proud :)

I love him!

This means the most to me.

This song is absolutely beautiful.
If ever I am having a hard time, I just listen to this song.
Its PERFECT!
and I can't wait to have him home in my arms.

He means the most to me.

14 months.

It feels so good to have 10 months left!

Time really is going by. and everyday that passes is one day closer to having him home.
Sometimes I really can't believe I'm waiting for a missionary! I'm kind of crazy. hahaha.
but then again, it's so worth it. I love him so much!

14 months down, 10 more to go :)
We can do this Shawn!

He knows what he's doing.

I've met a lot of people in my life,
but especially these past 14 months.
Some good; some bad.
Some that have made a huge impact in my life,
some that I wish I never met.
But then again, every single person that has come into my life
have made me a better person.
They make me who I am today. 
They make me stronger, 
They show me what a true friend is verses a bad friend.
They show me what I want in a husband and what I don't want.

They are blessings in disguise. 

I've made girlfriends that will last a lifetime.
Practically like sisters to me.

But I want to direct this post about... Boys.

Yes, other boys.

I've met some pretty cool guys.
Returned missionaries
Complete sweethearts
Totally fun to be around

And it seems like a cycle with them.

Kind of something like this:

I meet them, hang out with them a lot, have a great time, open up to each other, become super close, they confess feelings for me, I remind them that I have Shawn, they pretend they dont care, another week goes by of hanging out and having a great time, then BAM- they turn into something completely different. They do things Shawn would NEVER do to me, or any girl for that matter. Like:

Flaking on plans.
Making up excuses.
Lying - ALOT.
Talking crap behind my back.

Jealousy? Maybe.
But still, its such an eye opener that Shawn is perfect.
Shawn.. would NEVER do anything like that to me.
Infact, when we started dating and I was the distant one, he NEVER gave up on me. He never gave me a reason to give up. He never flaked, he ALWAYS followed through with plans, he never lied to me, he never ever said anything rude behind my back. and I think, "If I wasn't Shawns girl.. would he do that to another girl?" NEVER. Shawn has more respect than that.

And this is where my title comes into place:

God knows what he is doing.

God puts people in my life to make me stronger, or to remind me how good I already have it. Even if he is 6000 miles away. I can honestly say I dont know what I would do without Shawn.

I was thinking about that yesterday while driving in my car. "What if something happened to Shawn?" "What if me and Shawn never met?" "What if Shawn didnt want to marry me?" and my heart just ached. Those questions didnt make sense to me. It was like that is something I should never be asking myself.

I love these simple reminders. And even though I'm so tired of the cycle with STUPID BOYS, I'm so grateful for God's presence in my life. I am very bless to have Shawn. He is amazing and I'm the luckiest girl in the world to have him now and forever.

309 Days.