By your side.

This song.

Wow.

I've been dealing with a lot of battles the past two weeks.

Depending a lot on the Lord for comfort

and to feel the love of Shawn thru these hard trials.

And today,

I came across this song.

And every word was an answer to my prayers.

I'm such a lucky girl to have

The Lord

and Shawn

by my side.

Where was I when your tears were falling?
Where was I went you needed a friend?
Where was I when your heart was calling?
Do you not remember?
Well I'll tell you then.

Know I remain
right by your side.
Push thru the rain,
and into the fire.
When I said I loved you
its just what I meant
so when you ask me
"Where was I when?"
Everytime;
I was right by your side.

Where was my love when your heart was bleeding
Was it not enough just to be your man?
When you had no feeling, where were my hands?
If you dont remember;
I'll tell you then.

I remain right by your side
Push thru the rain,
and into the fire.
When I said I loved you
it's just what I meant.
So when you ask me
"where was I when?"
Everytime;
I was right by your side.

Well dont you know,
that I give all the best of me.
I've done it all,
But you still dont want to see.
That I remain right by your side
Push thru the rain
and into the fire.
Cuz when I said I loved you,
its just what I meant.
So when you ask me
"Where was I when?"
Everytime;
I was right by your side.

100.

Wait......

100 DAYS?!

I've only got 100 Days until his

YEAR MARK?!

Time is flying.

I'm almost half way there.

I love you boyfriend :) :)

Birffdayy.

Happy Birffday to MUAH.

Yah, I know I'm late to post,

but I had another birthday.

February 21.

I turned 19 years old.

I dont feel at all different.

Oh the joys of still being a "teenager".

One Birthday down;

One more to go

til my best friend is home!!

Well, I had a pretty good birthday!

Here's what went down.

I woke up at 7:45.

Yes I had to wake up early on my birthday.

And got ready to go to the Salon.

I love the Salon

& all my friends were gunna be there.

Then, my grandma came in

to get her hair done.

She brought me a Diet Coke

and a cupcake.

A cupcake that I love so dearly.

Me and Shawn would get those cupcakes all the time.

Smiths is where its at.

My day was already off to a great start.

Love that woman.

Then, me and my bestie Sara Strong,

went to Olive Garden for lunch.

We sat in the booth right next to the one

me and Shawn would always sit at.

what a co-ink-a-dink.

Then,

I went home and opened presents.

Yay presents!

This is what I got:

Modest Swim Suit :)

130 bucks to Tilly's and a gas card :)

Another Bag from the man :)

Thanks babe!!

Book mark, Tea stuff?, earrings, bracelets, watches,

a LOVELY decorated birthday letter

I loved my gifts.

Thanks Mom, Dad, and Shawn!

Then after that,

I went to dinner at Lonestar

with my Mom, Dad, and little Brother.

And then hung out with my best friend

Sara Strong.

It was a pretty good birthday.

I'm a very laid back girl,

doesn't take much for me to have a great day.

Birthdays are a million times harder than holidays

without the boyfriend here,

but it was amazing how much I felt his love on that day.



Stupid Holiday.

While girls are getting spoiled by their boyfriends,
my boyfriend just so happens to be 6037 miles away.

I had a really hard day surprisingly.
I woke up this morning thinking
"Its not a big deal, you're day is gunna be fine"
But its much harder to have someone you love so much, so far away on this day.
(but yes, im lucky to even have someone to love)

But as I was driving to school it hit me so hard
that I miss him so much. I couldn't hold back the tears.
but I sucked it up and went to the Salon.

The day went on and luckily my best friend was there.
She has a missionary too, so we just made each other laugh all day.
Then noon hit.

Flowers started getting delivered to the school.
"Oh great." And I just tried to ignore it.
But I couldn't get my mind off of Shawn.
I just wanted him here so bad.
I started getting really sad.

This is where the cool part happens.
While me and Sara are in the car, I couldn't stop thinking;
"I just wish Shawn was here. I just want to hear him tell me he loves me. Thats it"
and within seconds, I hear the radio start playing our song.

The Lord works in amazing ways.
The Lord heard my cry and felt my pain
and I got something better than flowers, chocolates, or a date.
I felt my Shawny's love. I felt him there with me. I heard his voice tell me he loves me.

And even though I missed him soooooo much today,
this Valentines Day was one I'll always remember.

Thank you Shawn, for everything you do for me and for making sure I felt your love today.

Happy Valentines Day my sweetheart.

I love you so much.

Tator-Tot.

If my kids are nearly as cute as this boy, I will be happy :)

I love my Tator-Tot. He makes me so happy!
He can be my replacement til Shawn gets home.

i miss him so much.

It's a Friday night, and I'm spending it watching chick flicks and Facebook.
You've all guessed it.. it's one of those nights.
I miss Shawn so much.
So instead of thinking so much about it, or getting emotional.. I decided to blog.
Ignore this post if you dont want to read any further, because you know its gunna be an emotional one.

Shawn has been gone 8 months. Everyday is one day closer to seeing him again. I can't wait. (well, I can). As some of you may know, I'm on this Facebook page called "Waiting for a Missionary". Cheesy I know. But I always saw those girls posting on it saying "8 months down! I can't believe it. Almost to the year mark" and I kept thinking to myself, "Holy cow, I can't wait to be there" and I'm finally there! It feels great to know that I only have 4 months til his year mark. I mean, a year ago THIS MONTH he opened his call. Time really does fly. I'm doing so well, and i'm so confident in what we have.. it's been easy on me. Well, easier on me than other girls waiting. But every once in a while, I let it all out.

I've always been the girl to hold everything in and then when something big happens, I lose it. Tonight is definitely one of those nights. I've also always been that girl that thinks "look how far I've come". but tonight I'm thinking "I've got so much more to do." and it sucks.

I really am so happy for him and proud of him! This mission is what he needs to do and I support him completely, but I miss my best friend tonight. I miss always having plans on the weekend with him, always looking forward to date nights, spending every waking moment together, always having someone to make me laugh, watching those ridiculous TV shows he always watched, jamming out in his truck, kisses goodnight, "Goodmorning Beautiful" or "Goodnight, I love you" Texts/phone calls, I miss having him around. Things happen at school and I immediately think "Oh i GOT to tell Shawn" I miss hearing his laugh, his voice; I miss having that one person I told EVERYTHING to. I know people say this a lot.. "Having someone to love and love you in return is like finding that person who completes you." and I couldn't agree more. Shawn really does complete me. He's my better half. And although I hate nights like this, I'm grateful for them because I'm reminded how lucky I am to have someone to miss and be in love.

I know some of you, or most, may be thinking "Where is this coming from? You are always so positive". But even the strongest people have their weak days.

It seems like everyday someone announces an engagement, wedding pictures, or they're having a baby... it makes me miss Shawn more. But then I realize.. its not my turn. Its not my time. My responsibility and duty right now is to wait for my missionary, finish school, and better myself for my perfect boyfriend. I try to accept that, its hard, but I do. I just replay what Shawn always says in my mind;

"Emily, dont worry. Our love is better than anyones. What we are doing is incredible and think about what it will be like when I get home... out of this world. I love you. Our love conquers the impossible".

He always knows just what to say. and he's right. I look up to those girls that waited for missionaries. Its the HARDEST thing I've ever done, but the most rewarding thing I will ever do. I love him more than words can describe.

I'm also really lucky because I haven't even gotten close to IBS. (imaginary boyfriend syndrome). I see all these girls on the Fb page that have it, and I think "What in the world, how could you have that with someone you love SO MUCH?!" and I'm 8 months in and I'm not even close to it. I feel his love every single day! And maybe thats why I miss him so much tonight; his love is with me tonight.

I miss him so much, but next summer... he will be home. and home for good. That day will be the best day of my life. 484 days until he gets home.

Sorry for the rambling. You're bored I know it. So i'll end it here.

Time... please pick up.


I love you Shawn. <3

V.Day

ya know how Shawn's stuff got stolen?

The stuff I sent him also got stolen.

I know how much it ment to him,

SO..

I sent him all new stuff!

I know, I'm a great girlfriend.

hahaha.

But I also wanted to put a small

Valentines Package

inside for him as well.

I'm sure it will light up his world.

I've never been so cheesy before.

But I have an excuse to be.

It's Valentines Day.

I outlined my hands

and stretched my arms as far as they would go

and showed him just how much I love him ;)

But really.. I love him way more than that.

124 Hearts.

Why?

1-24

(Jan. 24)

Is when I became his girlfriend two years ago.

I numbered them 1-124

and wrote a word on each :)

Glow Sticks.

He makes my heart happy.

and glow.

Small shovel.

Thats why it says what it says.

with Hugs & Kisses inside.

All together??

This is what it looked like:

Simply and Thoughtful.

I also put a cute Valentines Day card inside.

I love you babe.



I'm blessed.

I can't believe how lucky I am.
I watch so many other girls going thru what I am going thru
and I realize how good Shawn treats me.
Even though he is miles away for so long, he hasn't changed a bit.
He is still the most amazing man in the world, who treats me like a princess.
He always tells me how much he loves me and how important I am to him.
I haven't gotten one letter that didnt tell me how much he loves me.
I am truly blessed.
I wait 3-4 weeks for a letter and with every letter I get,
I fall more in love with him. He always knows what to say to give me a boost.
I know I can do this.
I'm also really blessed to hear from him once a week.
So many girls dont get that opportunity and I am humble enough to say
I am very blessed to get to do that with him.
He is so special to me.
Even though he is so far, I really do feel so close to him.
And I dont say that in a cheesy way,
I really mean it. I really do feel like he is here.
And its nice to read his letters and emails and see how much he has grown
spiritually and in a mature way as well.
I'm a complete supporter of missions.
They are the best thing for these boys,
and its making him grow up into the man I wanna spend eternity with.

So here I am, rambling on about how blessed I am,
cuz lets face it,
I'm a pretty freakin lucky girl.

Did I mention I am really blessed?

Thank you for everything Shawn.
For being you.
For staying the same, but changing for the better.
I love you with all my heart.

498 :)

499

Say 'so long' to 500's
and say hello to
400's.

499 Days until my best friend
and the love of my life
comes home.

It feels good. :)

I love you so much Shawny!!

Best 2 years.

January 24, 2010

The most amazing man in the world

became such a huge part of my life.

Yes, thats right,

Today is our 2 year Anniversary!

Its hard not having him here.

I've thought about him all day

and just kept wishing to myself

"I wish I could kiss him, I wish I could hug him

I wish I could just tell him Happy Anniversary"

Especially on this day,

I want everyone to know how blessed I am

to have him in my life.

These were the most

amazing 2 years

and defnitely the best 2 years of

my entire life.

I grew so much knowing him.

He changed my life in so many ways.

We had our ups and downs

but thru it all, it made our love stronger.

-I learned more about the gospel

-He strengthened my testimony

-He opened my eyes to my true friends

-He picked me up on my feet and showed me

the importance in life

-He made me closer with my family

-He made me HAPPY

-He showed me how it feels to be loved

and in love.

-He showed me what I'm worth

-He made me grow up

-He helped show me the 'bigger picture'

and that I want him apart of this 'big picture'

You may be thinking

"Well gosh, thats just the most perfect couple in the world"

Yes, we are something really special and have something

very unique, but it wasn't all easy for us.

We had to work at it everyday.

We would fight (rarely) and become stronger thru it

we would push each other off the edge

we would drive each other crazy

but relationships aren't easy.

they aren't perfect.

but everyday you can WORK

for them to be perfect

and that will make your love stronger.

And thats what we did.

Thats what we do everyday.

He gave me the best 2 years

that any girl could ever ask for.

Sometimes I ask myself..

Is he real?

Do I really have a man like him?

Do I deserve him?

Is this too good to be true?

Why is he so amazing?

And all those point to the answer:

Emily, you are very blessed. Hold onto him

DO NOT let him go.

So I wont!

I never will.

I'm looking forward to the anniversaries to come!

Happy Anniversary babe.

I love you sooooooo much!!